I got waitlisted at The New School today by mail. This is really shocking, particularly because it was my dream school. I know that if I do get a spot, I’ll have to turn it down because it will be really really expensive and I already accepted at Hollins. This makes me wonder if I should have waited longer to make my decision, or if I should have simply waited another year and reapplied with stronger samples. I’m a little nervous about everything right now.

Writing is becoming difficult

I haven’t written anything, good or bad, since the middle of February. I’ve found myself stuck in a place filled with relationship memories that I can’t stop writing about. It isn’t that I haven’t written anything at all – I’ve started or continued working on at least four separate essays – but I can’t commit to one. I think this week will be good for me because I have a deadline to complete an essay by Monday (for my nonfiction workshop, which has been absolutely horrendous). I won’t say more, because if I start, it will never stop.

Less than two months to go until I graduate and move back to Los Angeles for the summer. I’m excited and a bit terrified at the prospect of moving to Virginia. Now that I’ve been accepted, I feel very doubtful of my work. But that’s good, because it means I’ll work harder once I get there.
I just accepted an invitation to join the Russian honors society at UC Berkeley. It was my first invitation and it feels pretty good. A nice resume booster for later, although I don’t know if it will help that much.
The slavic graduating class is so small. It’s like twenty students. Weird.

I’m moving to Virginia

I just accepted my nonfiction spot at Hollins.  I am really excited.  Now, I just need to finish up at Berkeley and not fail any classes. 

CNF spots are open at USF, Emerson, and Rutgers-Camden.
I can’t believe I’m still waiting on Penn State, The New School, and Rutgers-Newark.  What a joke.

I love Aaron Shurin

Aaron Shurin just called to tell me I was “enthusiastically” accepted to USF.  Their enthusiasm extended to the 8k tuition grant they just gave me.  This is fucking incredible.  I will be visiting the campus on Monday (a huge benefit of living in Berkeley) and making my decision in the middle of next week.

Hollins’ acceptance deadline is next Sunday.

Almost done with the lists

Here we go!  Only four more schools left to be rejected from:

Emerson (with funding – 10k)
Hollins (with funding – 10k)
U of Arizona
The New School
Penn State
Rutgers-Newark (fuck you Rutgers)

But in other news

I got funding from Emerson – 10k for the year.  Don’t know if that is renewable but it seems doubtful.

Decision time:  Emerson is cheaper for tuition, but Boston is so much more expensive than Roanoke, VA.  Hollins, on the other hand, seems like the better program, and a better investment. 
Any ideas?  I’m supposed to find out about USF tomorrow, and if I’m accepted and get funding, the choice will be that much more difficult.

Wow Rutgers…wow

I just got off the phone with an administrative assistant over at Rutgers.  Turns out they mistakenly sent me a letter of acceptance to Rutgers-Newark.

There isn’t much to say to that one.

It seems like Hollins is the place for me

I just received an amazing email from Adam Dorris, a current student at Hollins.  If you contact anyone in regards to a fair assessment of the program, it should be him.  His email was 4000 words, which is amazing!  I love people who take the time to share.  Anyway, it looks like Hollins is perfect for me:  small class size, a close-knit group of students, an intense writing load, and cheap rent.

More later.  Now I must respond to Adam’s email.

It is the way it is

The last month has been incredibly difficult.

On the 15th of February, I broke up with the girl I had been dating for a year.  Over the phone.  She is in England for a study-abroad semester.  Two weeks after I broke up with her, she told me she had slept with someone else on the 14th.  I became unreasonably upset, shaved my head, and was in a bad state for several days.  I had no reason to be upset:  I had wanted to date other people, our relationship wasn’t really a relationship because I had never fully committed, even though we had been dating exclusively for a long long time.  We had cheated on each other.  I had loved her.  She had loved me.  I wanted to break up with her but couldn’t.  Doesn’t this sound like the typical tripe everyone writes about?  I’m not an angsty teenager any longer.
At the moment, she is with that someone in Ireland.  I recently came to the conclusion that I want her back.  But I am leaving in two months, going back to LA, then moving to Virginia in August.  My parents decided that it was within their power to let me attend Hollins.  I am sure that no other school will offer me better funding, and as it stands, Hollins is my top choice, especially so with funding.
On the 23rd of February my Rutgers-Camden admissions email came.  I felt better about the whole cheating scenario, but then I began to doubt my ability as a writer.  Camden is in its second year as a program, would they accept me just because they wanted diversity and I am Russian?
On the 28th of February my Emerson admissions email came.  I felt better.
On the 9th of March my Iowa NWP rejection letter came.  I was expecting it.
On the 10th of March my Hollins admissions email came, with funding.  
On the 14th of March my Rutgers-Newark admissions letter came.  I think it is a mistake, because their program assistant told me they hadn’t made decisions yet, but who am I to doubt a letter?
I ran out of money for food, I have maxed out both of my credit cards (2k and 3k), I haven’t been able to get a job.  I am wary of calling my parents to tell them I need money for tuition and rent.
I emailed a craigslist advert poster about auditioning for porn.  Luckily, I didn’t get a reply.  I guess that means I’m not good looking enough for porn, a saving grace for my self-esteem.

Ok never mind

Gahh, Rutgers-Newark is stupid.  When I called three days ago, they told me they hadn’t even started making decisions yet, but here is a letter from them dated March 10 (3 days ago) stating that I’m accepted to the program.  Bad Rutgers-Newark, bad!

So…time for a new list:

Hollins (with funding)
Montana (implied by phone)
The New School
Penn State