A fire burns and it’s for you

This is probably the most inspirational song I’ve heard lately. To me, it speaks to the powerful nature of belief in the self. Not only that, but it reinforces the idea of living for yourself, which might be a paraphrase of what I just said in the previous sentence. No matter, we’re all writing what we know, and in a sense, singing what we have. I’m loving the urgency here, coupled with the driving beat.

Posting the lyrics for you because Jack Antonoff’s singing is not conducive to being understood very well:

When I was eighteen everything was alive
Then the planes hit the towers
Then she died and he died
A part of me disappeared six feet in the ground
A million miles in the sky a fire burns,
A fire burns, a fire burns and it is mine

And I did what I did
What we did to survive
Five whole years of my life I spent mourning you and why?
Girl you’re still alive
You’re too dead to keep inside
You take the years, you keep it all, I finally think I might be alright

So lets just let it all go cause nothing can change
And if something is lost then there’s something to frame
I just sing what I have
All I got this girl, not yet crushed by the world
I’ll count the freckles on her face one, two, three hundred times a day

And sing a new song
Something I’d never hear
It’s a better love that I found, bigger love that you fear
So deep inside me, hot in this frozen cave
Her fire burns, her fire burns, her fire burns and it is brave

When I was eighteen everything was alive
Then the planes hit the towers
Then she died, then he died
A part of me disappeared six feet in the ground
A million miles in the sky a fire burns,
A fire burns, and I just let it all go

And I won’t fear change
And if something is lost then there is something to frame
I just sing what I have in the heavens above
In the song in the sky a fire burns,
A fire burns, a fire burns and it’s for you

I should stop smiling

So, in keeping with my current carpe-diem philosophical leanings, I may actually have a real date this week. Shocking, I know. The Korean girl accepted my facebook date query, so yes, I am getting there. We studied together with her roommates today, and I really enjoyed that. The fact that her roommates are two lesbian girls really interests me. Not in the way you think though.

I’ve never really seen a gay relationship of any sort, and it makes me happy to see one, especially one that is thriving. That statement really makes me seem rather conservative, but I am far from it. I have gay friends but I’ve never seen any of them in a relationship. I naively wonder what it is like to have two gay roommates who are in a relationship. Doesn’t everyone think about what it would be like to have a completely different living situation? Maybe it’s just me.
I really like her roommates. They’re easy going and nice, but they talk too much for me to be able to focus. I’m thinking about asking her if I can cook dinner for all of them this week. It’s time to bring back the famous Russian salad everyone loves.
I seriously think that if I can be happy with someone for a month and a half, it doesn’t matter that I’m leaving, because this will be better than regretting inaction. I’m doing what I’ve always dreamt of, which is taking action and doing what I really want to do, and it feels good. I was walking around today and caught myself smiling, which rarely happens.
Let me clarify: I am not interested in making these people a statistic. I hate having to justify my statements, but I’ve been in trouble before because I say things without clarifying, and I want to avoid that.
Russian nationalism is on the rise, anti-Western sentiment is also rising.
This is dangerous territory.