I’ve been having a really strange dream lately. I’m not sure how many times I’ve had it, but I must have had it at least twice, because last night, it felt familiar, and therefore, even more disturbing.
The basic outline of the dream is this: I’m back at Berkeley, and I realize that I have finals coming up. I’m doing well in all of my classes except one, because I have not attended it all semester. I need this class to graduate. It might me a math class. The dream repeats the psychosis of knowing I can’t pass and will not graduate, over and over again. Throughout, I try to think of ways to pass the class, knowing that none of them will work. The dream itself is more like a series of emotions, including panic and paranoia and shame.
I can’t figure out what it means.