I don’t know how to approach this except to say that despite my best efforts, or perhaps in concert with them, life has become entirely too complicated. I didn’t know that meeting one person could cause such dire emotional conflict. Then again, I’m entirely too attuned to other people’s emotions. I empathize too much, especially when I deeply care for someone.
I’ve met the person I never wanted to meet, the one who is so completely different. I know I shouldn’t wait for things to settle down. I just realize that sometimes you have to wait a bit to see the situation clearly before you can take any action.
I still don’t know what I’m doing. I’m still waiting, even as it becomes ever clearer that the person I met two months ago is a superb liar who lies not only to herself but to other people indiscriminately.
And still I continue to ignore the advice of my friends, who know me very well, who know my tendency to fall for people who will never return the favor, not because they don’t want to, but because they can’t.